Sunday, October 02, 2005

Apaleena6


No bifurkashun or menora, jest a straitline ta tha hart uv tha metter. Nonevaragen will we allow that ta heppan; notachence in hell uv that cuming up in a conversashun. Nevaragen. If Mulli gain and Murphy deside ta finish wat thay’ve sterted, than let ‘em at it: thairs no stopping them now. If Humbert sterts ta fish fer copparpennes in tha well upbehind tha low gate, than all tha best ta him. Bravo. Mores tha powar ta ya. In tha end thair will be notheng left but werds. Werds uv contradikshun. (contrishun).
Humbert pawsed an collektd his thouts, a roound brews stretching tha skin aroound his left eye and tuking inta tha cornar uv his nose like a curd uv bloocheese."I think its time to get on with it," he sayd. "On with what?" askd Murphy. "On with what it is we’re all here for; why I’ve come hundreds of miles to sit in the rich stench of this house." Mulli gain cleerd his throat an set in tha briarleggd chair next ta tha pigbellied stove. Apaleena brushd an ant frum tha ball uv her knee and twistd her fingars inta a Persianknot. "I don’t want to loose the opportunity we have before us," sayd Humbert. "We may never find ourselves in this position ever again. We may, as a matter of fact, never see another winter if we don’t act now—if we don’t get to that heart of the matter before our window of opportunity ceases to exist." Mulli gain smyled an tapped a fingarnail agenst tha yellocorn that wair his teeth. "What window is that your talking about?" He askd. Humbert, vizable upset an on tha brink uv exhawstshun, poynted a gnarl an crooket fingar at Mulli gain and snapped, "The fucking window of opportunity." "Ya, but what the hell is that?" askd Murphy. "Its not a real fucking window," snarld Humbert; "it’s a simple metaphor for a chance that may never come again in a lifetime."
"In our lifetime?" askd Mulli gain. "Of course in our fucking lifetime." "Then why not in another lifetime?" askd Murphy. "Because we are in this lifetime, not some other one." "I see," sayd Apaleena, brushing a dred uv hair awey frum her face. "In this lifetime—this one right now—we can expect a window to open up, right?" Sayd Mulli gain. "That is correct," answerd Humbert. "In our lifetime." "Was there an open window before in someone else’s lifetime?" askd Murphy. "Well of course there must have been," answerd Humbert. "Of course," sayd Apaleena. "Oh I see,"sayd Mulli gain. " Theres got to be a number of windows…" "A whole fucking world-full of windows," interuptd Murphy." "so many windows that it would be impossible to count them or even conceive of them." continewed Mulli gain. "I suppose," sayd Apaleena. Humbert closd his eyes an took in a deep breeth. "There is only one window of opportunity," he sayd. "And if we don’t get things started, there will never be another one in our lifetime." "What does this window do?" askd Murphy. "It shows us the way," answerd Humbert. "It simply shows us the way out of the fly bottle." "You mean theres a window in a fly bottle?" sayd Murphy. "No, you idiot—theres no window in the fly bottle; that’s just another metaphor, nothing more." "By the way," Mulli gian, askd, "what brings you to our quaint little cottage?" "Don’t you remember?" askd Humbert. "I’m afraid I don’t," sayd Mulli gain. "I’m here because you requested my expertise in helping you with a little problem," Mulli gain ran his fengars throo a crest uv irongrey hair, and smyld. "Can’t say as I remember," he sayd. "You most certainly will," sayd Humbert, "after I explain my solution to your little problem, you most certainly will." "Do you remember calling Humbert and asking him to come down here?" Mulli gain askd Murphy. "I’m not completely sure," sayd Murphy. "Maybe it has something to do with long pieces of wood," offerd Apaleena. "No not at all to do with wood—that wouldn’t be it," Murphy sayd. "What about the dog?" asks Mulli gain. "Now there’s a real fucking problem." Murphy raized his hede a stard herd at Mulli gain. "Now you leave the poor dog out of this," he sayd. "He hasn’t done a thing—not a goddamn thing." "Who’s dog is it anyhow?" askd Apaleena. "Its his," sayd Mulli gain. "I don’t want a fucking thing to do with it—never did, from the start." "Well its here and here’s where it’ll stay," sayd Murphy defiantle. "On your side of the room," sayd Mulli gain. "Keep the fucking thing on your side of the room, that’s all I ask." Murphy clenchd his graitjaw an ran his tunge across tha beck uv his dentyours. "It’s settled," sayd Murphy. "For now," sayd Mulli gain.
Humbert opind an closed his eyes, rubbing tha grit an dert frum behind his eyelashes, which causd him ta sqwint. "Today will be the day," he sayd gruffle. "Today is the day that we prepare for the worst. We will prepare ourselves for whatever may come—be that war or some transaction between indifferent but equally superior foes." "You mean we’re in some kind of trouble?" askd Mulli gain. "Sure, we must be if he’s here," sayd Murphy poynting at Humbert. "Why are you here?" Murphy askd, a look uv concentrashun crenolating his brow. "To stop them from taking over the entire valley and turning it into an amusement park," sayd Humbert. "Now I remember," Mulli gain sayd cawshusle. "An amusement park?" sayd Murphy. "That’s right," Humbert added. "A fucking amusement park."
Tha sum uv all things iszero. Tha sumuv all things is notzero. Watt is mey nevr be agen. Watt meynevr be agen is tha sum uv all things. Watt meynevr be agen is not tha sum uv all things. Adinfinitum. Arastawtal is mortel. All mortels r Arastawtal. Arastawtal is all mortels. In enaround a lake, mowtains cum outtatha ski. Thundar splitsopin an rends asundar tha merning ski. Clowds crash inta tha horizon an fell like angels frum onhigh. Orion cuts tha maw uv nite like a hornet’s stang ona febral brow. Mulli gain dences on fliteuvfoot whyal Murphy pleys tha comic fool. Nothing mettars anemoor. Rayvanblak an distence far, on amoonlite nite that paraids acress tha mourning ski like somuch angar on a bloodeed fist. Blessed be thi name. Thi Kingdum cum. Allwill be dune. On eerth as it is in heevan. Pleese don’t ferget me whain tha tyme will cum. I will be waiting as allgood men mey stand in tha brilleyeance uv yor blessedness. Its notcerainle wat ewe think it is, its sumthing far more intaresting; semthing that’l meke yer bloodboyal. I cuwd do a hamstend an bitemi lips an grind mi teeth an spitspittle allovar an abuv tha yellomud uv tha merning ski. I cowd pley with tha milke clowds an cast aspersians on tha thorne scab uv nite: blessd be thine name, for evar an evar. Aman. Onesolatare man with a shooshine grin an a penchant fer allthings chalkolate an creem. Malli gen an Marphy, two peas in a ped. Apalenna an Hombert, two faces in a crewd. Volataire, tha cunt. Descartes, tha fillthe bestard. Plato, tha unmenshunable old quween. Cunts tha lot uv ‘em. Brewsd plums. Palliate tha custerd sowl. Too yung ta suk on a milkplump teet. Muthar’s werning ta us all that we best be carefell wair we stik ower scabbe red cecks. Best be nothing ta ewe than ta screw tha cockhen with tha fireered ceckcomb. Goran poor bestard. Wife stiks gerds an pumkins an yello twoburs up between har scabberd legs an inta tha tightnest uv har woman’s plece. Too much moysture in tha thikuvit. A rite oldcunt with a twothless smile an a thankless heert. Its at tymes like this that a currantred blistar on akillee’s heel wood be a fer bit bettar than legs made uv timbar an feet sculled lik appalpeels. Man needsta welk ta keep tha sirculashun going. Humbert’s get thorns an whistles on tha bettum uv his feet; fer scrappen tha cowshite an sharpgress frum between his towes.
I’ve been having sum diffecultees with mi teeth lately. Thay hav begen to chenge color an hav been felling outta mi jawbone whair they hav been stuk fer tha lest fourte yeers without rhym or reeson. Mi predatore mastekaters wair tha ferst ta go: thay simple chenged thair posishun in mi moowth, bentdouble ovar inta tha penk skin uv mi gums, an subsequentle loosend an xtrected themselves frum mi jaw bones without mi knowing it. Thay fell out. Thay just retted an fell outa uv mi skull. Its tha ones left ovar that r now cawsing me tha mest truble. Thay seem ta bleed an milk an cutsharp inta tha soft tissu uv my mowth whair thay peel layars uv skin frum tha innerside uv mi cheeks lik old paynt. Its tha horrable thought that thay mite all fell out an leeve me with a mowthful a nuthing; a mowthful uv blud an puss—an than whatevr thair may be left uv tha hardchipt bone, thay’ll drell holes inta mi jawbones an screw in sum dentyours that’ll surely be mede frum tha seme stuff thay meke toylets outta. God hav marce on mi few remaning teeth. I thinc thay mite callit pieorea or sumthing lik that. Bleeding gums, that’s it: fucking bleeding gums, for the love uv God. Mi fucking gums r bleeding an tha smell cant be too wenderful itself; it must smell lik sumthing retting or an old peece uv meet that’s been layen arund too leng in tha beck uv tha refrigerator whair tha box uv bakensodas seppose ta be. I don’t even remembar if I had ane milkteeth. Keck in tha hede’ll do it jest fine. Knok whatevarsleft uv tha buggars otta mi mowth an be dune with it. Sille cunts get bettar teeth than I evar had. Beg white ones with even spaces an pink gums that seem ta jemp out at ya whenevar she smyles. Fucking sonuvabitch ken eat whatevar tha fuck she wents. An me; tha soare bestard that I am, not knowing what ta eat that’ll not endup blistaring mi fucking jawbone and gum skin an giving me a cankar or an absess. Fucking shitte situashun I’m in, not knowing whethar I’ll loose anuthar molar or a eyetooth whain I’m sleeping. Feck tha little ceckheded rewstar up between tha eyes with tha bigfat ceck uv yers. Mothar sayd, in deed she ded, that nuthing’ll evar go wreng with yer little peckar if ewe keep it in yer fucking pents. Forevar dencing aroound lik a crazeman thincing aboout given tha old heeveho ta a fucking rewstar or a checken fer Christ sake. This life jest doesn’t get ane bettar than that. Fucking cecksuking white teeth; jest her luck. An me with mi porcalin fucking dentyours that thay meke toylets otta stuk ta tha fucking roof uv mi mowth lik thertetwo angre men.
Culd hav Goran he wood hav left his wife an moved down inta tha vallee; tha ferthar awey frum har tha bettar. She wuz an angre cur with a fowlmowth and an attitude that shaimed Goran ta admet why wuz it that nevar had he evar marreed har in that furst place. An tha plentlife up har bum an tha twested fingars that wair constentle atplay at har breests and cunt witch wuz purpel an bloo like sumthing hung in a iceclosit. In tha greetar scope uv things it mighthav been a bettar thing that he hav har comitted an putawey in sum drefte clapboorded howse whair nersis an attendants took care uv har micturashuns an foodhabats an made cirtan that she breshed har teeth and comed har hair down tha shallow rivar uv har back. Now sumone he mite hav been a good match fer Apaleena with har cheere smyle an russettred cheeks whair she pleyd with tha cheldrin an swam in tha runningrivar bi tha clocksmith’s stabale an livare. A man is judgd bi tha manner in which he judges othars. A man is no judge if he hav not tha curage ta judge himself. Goran wuz one uv such men ta whom tha formar appleyes. He nevar once raized his voyce ta his wefe an wuz unaccustum ta lowd argumints that festard inta tha wee howars uv tha merning. He wuz a calm man; a man uv integrite an cumpashun.
A ligamint stewd in a curre sawce with musterd seed an unyon. A caf’s livar, freshle exsized, coated in semolina an braized on a hot grell untell tha jewse an blood coat tha buttom uv tha skillet like blakstrapmolassuss; a mixteur uv intestinell liqwid an allspice dressed with applesculls an parsalee. A puree uv it all not ta tha metter what tha fuck yer upta whain ewe wair a childrin with a smyle like tha devell an bluntcut hair that touchd tha nob uv bone on that tep ov yer showlder whair tha sun yewsd ta bern mahogane inta tha heet uv yer skin. I am a gourmond; a tastar uv poltre; a rarebit uv tooasted breed with bacunfat and selt. Fer God sakes man, cum beck ta yer senses! Nonevar evar agen. Fucking Goran’s wife with har drigrass hair an a look uv absolute contentmint on har pigsnout. That fucking dug with tha ungodful reek an creel uv spoyld fish and capars in tha foam uv it’s mowth. Mulli gain: fucked. Murphy: fucked. Apaleena: on tha wey ta beeing fucked. Humbert: toofucking shert ta be fucked. Goran; fucked if he knows. Fintan: yet ta be fucked. Hes cuming soon; trest me.
Fintan wuz a enigma: he wuz seventy-four yeers-old, an as tall as a tree. He could bend a steelspike in haf, an eat a mowthfell uv beas like a handfell uv yellocern. He had a scarifacashun on his forehed stretching down ovar th curve uv his eyebrow and aleng his cheek thain acress ta his lip whair it fermed sumthing closele resembling a cleftpalate. He had his name branded on his showlder, an a tatoo uv a Philipino whore on tha greetmass uv his forearm. He wuz a man ta be reckond with; net sumone ewe’d want ta pissoff or get on his bad side. He could be a naste sonuvabitch whain he wanted ta. Fintan wuz origenalle frum up nerth beyond tha treeline and inta tha rockescree uv tha glacier whair silvarchar an salmon swamfrozin in tha quik currant uv tha rivars that gentle brewsed tha landscape. He used ta tell peeple that thair wair no trees left up on tha mowntain becawse he had cut them alldown yeers ago, before ye wair evar reele bern. Fintan, thay all knew, wuz due beck down tha mowtain sumtime soon; perhaps befor tha next snow fell which usualle keept him bivowacked up in the shert brush neer tha mowth uv a cave whair at one time, so he wuz teld, lay an old Indian berrial site. He dug up what evar he could uv thair remains—frectured skulls an misshappin legbones and broken teeth that just seemd ta cutcrooked in that hardbone uv tha jaw. He dug evare lest one uv them up, an bureed them sumwhair else, fer religeous reesons he hadnt that payshens or whairwithall ta remembar or reele caremuch aboout.
An he had ubsessive thouts that plagued his evareday life. He wood cownt tha nembar uv twigs on a specific tree brench ovar an ovar agen untell he felt rite with himself, untell the dark thouts of death an humiliashun had temporarile abandond him; and he wood tri ta memorize mathethical preblems an ta remembar dates and touch invisable peeces uv dert an tha dert floor, uv all things, until tha scabs on his hands and fingars bled an he lest his fingarprents that wair wornthin due to xcessive, compulsuve touching and retouching ovar an ovar agen and he wood cri and wail inta tha blakcunt uv nite and prey ta tha God uv his understending ta take awey tha torment an payn.
That he an Humbert had onle met once, when Mulli gain and Murphy had tha big gettogethar on thair properte tha summar past when Humber ate tha whitecoils uv tha cews tail an then pessed out in tha cerncrib, wuz a mystare in itself; one wood hav thout that thay wood hav crossd peths at leest once befor in thair live’s, but sech wuz not tha case. Both men livd soletare lives; one abuve tha treeline, tha uthar in tha derk woods that sirownded tha halfwey up poynt uv tha mowtain whair tha snowsfell ten foot deep an tha brunches uv tha trees wair heeve with ice an strung tight as a bow, tha tenshun pelling tha roots rite outuv tha ground in some pleces, an in uthatrs, bending an striating tha forest floor with needles an cones.
Fintan wuz knowen ta eat greet roounds uv colleflowar an stawks uv sellre an pellgreen brusellsprouwts that wair steemdin pernod an unyon skins. He culd eat mure than tha avrage man an oftin wood wen he had tha noshun to on those okashuns wen tha ski wuz blowted with yelloclowds an tha merning sun wuz like a bell on fire an his stumak wuz grembling an tha soles uv his feet wair callusd an red frum nocternal remblings that sent him deeper inta tha closure uv nite. Watt closure uv nite? Watt awedacite. Watt an impertinent fool. God luv’em, cawse no one else curtainle will. An Fintan: a men uv seventee sum with roughbark hends an an appetite that wood frighten tha most xtrordinare culinare abilite. An at seventee sum he culd run his hend thro an iceceld streem an leeve it thair for all must an hower without one bit uv payn rigamortising his fingars an nukles. Tha man wuz a men amung men: an fine example uv brewtstrength an longjevite.
Har hends wair scallopt an raw frum pluking at tha hem uv har dress an rubbing tha tips uv har fingars agenst tha bark uv a tree that she had okashun ta sit undar on het deys. She war softsoled shoos with thin laces an rubbar balls aroound tha ankal. She hed a flowar tuked in tha cleft uv har ear an a longred scar that ran frum tha middal uv har forehede aleng har cheekbone an acress tha softtissu uv har lips an ended in a cerl at tha bottum uv har chin. She didn’t know Apaleena or Mulli gain or Murphy or Humbert or Goran or Fintan. Thay wair yet ta ferm images in har hede. She hed runawey frum a fostar home in tha cite and wuz werking harself acress cuntre ta wiar she hed heerd thair wuz steade werk at a flowarmill that hiard yunggerls lik harself. Watts in tha breed uv tha bone? Watt happans wen watts breed in tha bone becums breed in tha sistum? Poor littal gerl with no plece ta go and noone ta teke care uv har. Noone ta telk ta an noone ta breeth besede in a fethar bed with an ermjoynt fer a pillo. Culd it be tha sistum itself, or culd it be watt remens uv tha sistum? This filosofical sistum that nevar seems ta muve beyund tha present. It’s a pedagogue, or sew I’ve heerd. Thair is no end ta tha sistum; onle a begening an middal an a helfwey throotha middal, an sewferth. Per littal gerl with tha sinamun hair an those greeneyes uv hars tha seem ta see rite throoya an beyond inta tha fewture. She needs a neme. Watt shell we call har? Whom shell she be? Watt shell she be? Watt shell she represent? Whi is she here? Whi net sumwair else? But hare; at this momint? That lowse basterd: how dare he seppose ta represent tha sistum. Hes a cowherd; a fecking cowherd if Ive evarseenone. No merals. No unnerstending; he thinks tha sistum is outsede tha sistum. He dusent seem ta realize that tha sistum, in itself, is nevar pert uv tha sistum: it exests indepedant uv thair beeing a sistum at all. Thair is no filosofe; onle a sistum that pretends ta be a filosophe uv life. Adinfinitum. An tha God uv mi understending will wipe awey tha teers frum mi eys an kess me gentale on tha top uv tha hede. God luv us: evare lest one uv us. Remembar: thair r no answers, onle qwestyuns. Feck it!

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"Poetry is the short-circuiting of meaning between words, the impetuous regeneration of primordial myth". Bruno Schulz
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