Saturday, October 01, 2005

Apaleena5


She had an imposseble long nek with a string uv tendone an nukle uv mussel that knotted tight inta tha hinge uv her jaw underneeth tha conch uv her ears. Wenevr she ate sumthing tha mussells and sinews closed an opind like a fist; tha fingrs twisted an worn inta an opake hardness that soften tha cut uv her face like spring water on a smooth stoone. As a metter uv fact it wuz tha wey she chewed an mastacated wattevr she ate that made her jawbones an mussell reele cum ta life; tha foodstuffs an tha like, like whips uv lickorish an combs uv hone an roounds uv sawsage that wair dripping with fat an anamell meet an flesh an cornonthacob with butter an sweets uv alkinds. If it wernt fur tha tic-tacs on her rms, shed be qwhite a catch; yes in deed, qwhite a catch. An that’s without saying that she wuz a fine an gentle woman when she had tha heert ta be. It wuz tha dregs an tha nedulls that scard tha jeezus out uv me; it waird me out trying ta convince her that she didn’t need them, that she cood do it on her ownself. That wuz thain: things have chenged since those deys; lots uv things, too mane ta remember at tha momint uv things.
An Mulli gain, he’s not xactle one uv yer happe fuckers. Didn’t have much uv a cheldhood, he didn’t; alweys finding himself in treble fer things he had nonevr hand in; alweys being held responsible fer the things his elder bruther did on tha lam an inbetween serving his tyme in tha justiss sisstum. One unheppe sunuvabitch. Poor basterd-Mulli gain; alweys finding himself cott in tha inbetween; alweys finding his aresbottum sorepaddled an raw. His parints wair nevrmuch at home: they spent most uv thair tyme in places like Urup or tha Derk Contenent; an sumuv tha tyme thaid traville ta places with no names, wair tha jungle wuz buzzing with insecs an tha trees higher than a men could see ta tha tup uv. Grait canopeas uv leeves an twisted brunches that seemd ta tear holes in tha blooazure ski. Wair sters an planits could be seen by tha naked eye, an oftin ewe could pikture tha moon itself hanging low an fat in tha derk nite ski like a spernd luver. An tha sorre basterd Mulli gain without a toy ta play with or a barcycle ta tinker aboout with. Left ta his lonesum ta figyour out wair he fitted inta tha sum uv things in this werld. Without anuther ta shew him tha wey or teech him a thing ortwo ta prepare him fer his jurne throo life. Its nowunder tha man cant seem ta keep a civil tongue in his mouth. Unlike Apaleena, who wuz an reelactual orfin, Mulli gain wuz whats to be calld a much neglekted cheld without a muthar or tha fathar aroound ta teech him a thing or two or rock him softle in his small little credle. Its nowunder he fell victum ta tha trubles uv tha weald.
Sad basterd, he wuz: Mulli gain stew; Mulli gain tyre; Mulli gain all on his lonesum. It wuz onle aftr he came inta aquaintance with Murphy that he reele knew he had a friend, that he wuznt alune in tha werld and that he had things he needed ta do. Murphy helpd Mulli gain ta grow; and wen he felt he had grewn enuff, he decided that it wuz aboout tyme he tuk his life inta his own hends an becum sumthing uv a man himself. It wuz his angr that kept him frum acheeving tha things he wented ta acheeve; he had ta leern how ta curb it an do things in a mannerle wey. Murphy, it can safle be sayd, shewed Mulli gain tha wey aroound an beyund his angr an feers. Mulli gain wuz rede: he had nuthing ta lose, an evrething ta gain.
Tha dug had cum frum tha littar uv a blak labridoor an an Irish settlar, with a muthar like a fucking cur an a fawthar that had been a hunting dug up untill it fell off tha scent an ran hedefirst inta a cedar, smashing its brains ita tha bak uv its skull like somuch grey porrige. Tha little basterd didn’t have a chence uv becuming anething uthar than an assrubbing lap dug with fir tha coler uv taffe an a hede like a treestump. No wundar it ran its aresbottum acriss tha floor leeving a trail uv blood an shit that Murphy allwez seemd ta be cleening up with a pale an a broom with a handle like a sawsage that he held like a wand infrunt uv himself wenevr Mulli gain ejackulated an got angre aboout tha mess. Poor sonuvabitch; not a thing he could do ta chenge tha cercumstances he found himself in; not nevr a chence ta be a showdug or just a plain old ferm dog with a yunglad for a mastar an a dughowse with a blankit an a litebulb ta keep him werm in tha winter. Thairs sumthing aboout it all that smells like its been cooking for sumtyme now; like maybe it wuz reele Mulli gain that luvd tha little dug an just couldn’t cum ta an unerstanding with himself that he could like tha little fucker without having ta let everebode know that he wuz in cherge an thair wuz ta be no fucking aroound with him; no nevr: on tha okashun that tha little fucker came an sat by his feet, he’d rub tha top uv his hede an whisper nonsense inta its flappeears like he wuz happe ta have tha friendship uv a little dug with a treestump snout curld up like a bairn with a pink tunge lapping at its leeshure.
How thain an agen can we atall xpect ta unerstand these caractars wen thay all seem ta be so disfuncshunal an fucked up? Tha anser is: we cannet. Thay take on a life uv thair own that runs its coourse without us beeing a pert uv it. All we ken do is sit bak an wetch them traduce thair wey throo life’s miserees and disassters. We cannot, howevr, guide them in ane wey wattso evr: its up ta eech one uv tham ta find thair wey throo tha werld alone with fate as thair Virgil.
Caramellyello curn with applejelle scowns an a mouthful uv melk streight frum tha teet uv she that ate tha gress down ta tha mud an dust. Twofowlds uv pastre with sugarbutter an blooberriees that seem ta stain tha grund beneeth yer feet with purpull bood. Uv tha fruit. Tha wombfruit. (God bless Mr. Joyce). A derk sillendar uv rich tabacco that stings tha bak uv yer throoat an makes yer singing voyce all fer tha bettr. She wood have been a good lovar if it warn’t fer tha needulls an smash. Eye ken remember whain she wuz a prinsuss an how her corntassle hair used ta catch tha merning lite an fell tha ruem with wermth and cumfert. Tha tic-tac and scritch-scratch; tha punktyours an leng blak an bloo tracks that scatterd her rms an left smudges on tha bones uv her cheeks that made her look sad an wern out. Tha needulls an tha oringe tipcaps that lay thrown on tha fleer unerneeth tha sofa an tha luvseet an tha fucking coughfee table.
With an indefferance ta payn she culerd her werld with blak cuttonwale an yellomarang. Thair wuz alsew tha hempshire bruwns an tha willowbeach wheals an tha culer uv ivore an platinum an russetred scales which wair smooth ta tha tutch an soft on tha palate. A cuntfell uv plums an a mowthfell uv ransore. A bitter remindr that one in the rm is werth a hunnerd in tha hede; that a hunnerd or mure in tha hede’ll put ewe in hell without a pattle ta navigate yer wey throo tha poundstile uv tha rivermerld whair tha wicked are prayzed an tha riteshuss rebuked. Allmighte God in whos absents we prey for fergiveness an louve. In this an that inbetween a feersum feer uv wat mey cum an wat mey not: cataracs that milkd his eyes; a long frey uv hare that catches tha roll uv his nose an cuts deep inta tha arcetecture uv his face; a perpull scold colluding with tha creese an funcshun uv his boneecheeks. God Almighty, we ask for yer forgiveness and ley duwn in charactar an in peece an in turmoil. Blessd r those who carre tha werd, for thay will cleense tha werld uv all its curcumstence an warsh it duwn inta inta tha sewer whair tha cheldrin pley with thair own shit an pissawey tha aftarnoon dey.
Goran ran a bookshop in tha tinee villege tha ley nomure than hafamile frum Murphy and Mulli gain’s cottege. He collectd litrature an histories, an books on art an he had an entyre secshun devoted ta Iresh shertstories an Scottash hymns an derges an oftin ewe could find old Inglash poetre or tha yello tern pages uv a book on astrolage with piktures dating bak ta tha tern uv tha centure. Goran was born in tha nerth cuntre whair his fathare wuz employd as a desill mechanic for a logging cumpane. Goran’s muthar wuz mentalle unsteble an prone ta attacks uv jelluse; wenever she felt that her husbend wuz not showing her enuff attenshun, she wood cause an awefell fuss an sterm aboout tha house like a furie. Thair wair no uthar cheldrin but thay did have a dug with taffeecolerd fur an blak rings arund it’s eyes an and a rope coild tail that seemd ta get in evreone’s wey an they had to take note uv him being in tha coreadore between tha bedreums whair he sumtymes ley in tha derk with tha stench uv dedmeet in tha slavar uv his mowth.
Tha dug died one Novembar dey wen it wuz hit by a car going at hellnek speed duwn tha counte road an thay dug a grave in tha bakyard beneeth tha cedars an bureed him whair Goran used ta fish for chub an fishstew wen he wuz a boy uv ten noless.
Mulli gain an Murphy knew Goran frum wen thay wair both yunglads with leng shagge haircuts an tern trowsers with patches an greengress stains that seemd ta run deep inta tha flesh uv thair legs an hobble them like cattle at markit. An thair wair tymes wen tha ski wuz azurebloo an tha three uv them wood ley in tha tallgress in tha feelds neer tha rivar an stare like cheldrin inta tha shallows uv tha clouds. A tight creese ta her pants; a clowvature uv tha nee just beloo tha patella an alongside tha sharp cut uv her shinbone that seemd ta run parallell ta her ankle an tha scull uv her foot. Mi Lolita. Cettle hoof tha stench uv routing carrion uv those that war tha last ta is slotted. Enemas: ha blood arterial an stick; ha greases undarneeth yer feet scabbed and oile with it. I think uv such things wen I remember mi Lolita; I must, in tern, dismiss frum mi thots ha deepfeer that creeps up mi bakspine wen I rememberatall ha hungar uv that obseshun.
Ha appellyard an ha miste sweetness uv ha frewt. Ha nectar an treecal that enfolds in ha ripe orbs that hang like dedmen in ha scalderon uv ha merning sun. Ha unknowan rememberance that this culd, at best, be a fracshun uv ha frewt that each tree will bringforth an bare as a condishun uv thair vere beeing. Mi Lolita; mi berning luv. Mi thots r curreed with ha spice uv yer breath an ha dawnfreshness uv yer skin so simple an smooth. It wuz ha uthar one; ha one with ha smash an ha nedulls an ha freesystem an ha artform she like ta call a pert uv a higherplane uv conshussness. I need ta think uv ewe, mi Lolita, wen this mind uv mine fells prey ta ha refuse that takes me bak ta ha helluv it all agen. No nevr agen; no nevr. I remembar appell an ruebard crumble an werm creem an a dusting uv brewnsugar an ha wey ha creem puddled in ha bottum uv ha bowl an ha wey ha brewsugar crusted ha spoon so hande an round. I remembar ha look on mi mothar’s face wen I stoodup an announced that I was nevrnotevr cuming bak here fer anuthar yeer an thairabouts. That wuz anuthar tyme, anuthar place an anuthar werld awey.
I need ta purge miself filosophically. Thairs anuthar bloodstain on ha stairs leeding up ta Murphy and Mulli gain’s apartment; it is a smeer, uv serts, kindhave like a blush or ha trail left behind bi a sik animel. Ha little dug, as fer as I know, seems ta be oka; he’s still atit with ha bits and shreds uv food thay feed him with a panfull uv wetar an ha odd assertment uv biscuts an bacun rashuns, an ha like. He may, as a fect, not be quite as healthe as he cud perheps be, but at ha bottumleest he is alive and kicking and up ta wattevr it is that he duz on his lonesum wen Murphy and Mulli gain r out an aboout collecting sizes uv wood an cheking ta see if thair is ane mune ta be made frum cardboord an applepeels as an admixture tagethar or on thair own. Thank heevans fer God—as He shews us ha wey throo ha muk an mire uv this one werld an inta ha werm credal an ha cumforting blankits ha a muthar shrowds her luvones in wen its celd an bittar an ha ski is alittar uv greycluds an ye cannet see beyund ha fixdend uv yer nose. Not a foot or mure. Deerest God, in heevan abuv: blestd be thine neme. Admen. God blessd; ta ha hithar an thone an beck agin. Nevr beck too leng not ta ferget what it is we need ta fermint ha blessd frewt uv ha vine; nevrnomettar that sweet suger is God’s geft ta us all. Mudeed an wet; frum ha credle ta ha greve; frum ha womb inta ha bleck frost uv nite; febrail an week; between Duntsmure an Evansville; ha tinee hamlat whair Murphy an Mulli gain’s quaint cottagre traces ha woodsmoke frum a chimine or a cooksfire an those uthars sloughtared an fed inta ha blak maw uv ha furnass nevrmure ta be seen in this life nor ha next.
"I wonder where Groan is?" askd Murphy. "He was suppose to be here over an hour ago." "Might have got beaten and robbed," sayd Mulli gain. "We live in very precarious times." "I’ve brought some apples for him," sayd Apaleena. "There down in the bootroom in the back porch." Humbert rayzed his hede from his chest and grumbled, "Wheres fucking dinner?" Mulli gain ran a splittoothd com throo his hair and shook tha contents onta tha wermwooded floor below his feet. Murphy smyled an sayd, "I suggest we wait until we hear from Goran before we settle down to dinner." "We can’t wait all fucking night," Mulli gain sayd. "He could be lost." "He’s certainly not lost," sayd Murphy. "He knows the country around here like the back of his hand." "I’ll show you the back of my hand if you don’t shut up," Mulli gain challengd, a knot tha size uv a goiter appeering on his nek just below his ademsapple. "I’ll go get the apples," sayd Apaleena. "I won’t be but a minute." "Fuck the apples," rumbld Humbert. "We need real food; like ducks or chicken or a roast of pork." "Apples go good with pork," sayd Apaleena. "I’ll make a sauce," she sayd, "a nice thick applesauce." "I like it soupy," Murphy sayd. "What?" sayd Mulli gain. "The applesauce—I prefer it a little on the soupy side." "Fuck off," intond Mulli gain, "or you won’t get any dinner at all." "Supper, isn’t it?" askd Apaleena. "Dinner is in the evening, and supper is in the afternoon." Humbert clenchd his teeth an breethd out throo his nose; a werm uv spittle an snought collecting in the perenium between his nostrells an upparlip contributing to an alreede feral an unkempt appeerance that lent Humbert an air uv hostilite an uneeseness that crimsond his face like a caffstongue on a saltlik.

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"Poetry is the short-circuiting of meaning between words, the impetuous regeneration of primordial myth". Bruno Schulz
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