In tha ninth canticle uv Dante’s hell, Dis, oar tha Devil, stands ovarabuv souls stukfast in tha ice, thair eyes frozen shut frum thair unrepentant teers. Virgil an Dante clime thair whey up tha Devil’s bode an cum out at tha base uv mownt purgatore. Beatrice aweights Dante’s arrivel on tha top of mownt paradisio, whair tha two will unite an live in peece an harmone for tha rest uv thair mortil lives. An tha crows cawcawcawing; an tha blind man with tha whitestik an tha grey beerd slashing his whey throo tha traffic an up onta tha curb whair he werks his whey doown tha sidewak spitting obsenitees at no one in partikular. Mi sweet Dulcinea throo whoos eyes I see tha beute uv tha cuntreside an tha splendor uv tha oshunsdeep.
"For the love of Christ Almighty," sayd Humbert, "things just don’t appear to be getting any clearer for the three of you. Its usually at this point, this juncture in the conversation, that I try to infuse the dialogue with a bit of levity. Well, that doesn’t seem to be working; in fact, I’d say its having the opposite effect: its pushed you all into a state of mute idiocy, its coloured the rouge in your cheeks with a pasty, yellow jaundice that seems to be in some violation of the Geneva Convention." Humbert cleerd his throoat and continued. "And, might I be so bold as to add: there seems to be a pox or a malnutrition of the brain at work here. Dull. That’s the word I’m looking for: dull and offensive. Dull and repetitious. Dull and boring." Mulli gain reeched for tha little dug, wove his fingrs aroound it’s nek, an tried to strangle tha poour littl creetur. Befour he coould shake tha living hell out of it, Murphy jumpt frum his seet, and, pushing heevile agenst Mulli gain’s bak, managed ta loosen his grip frum aroound tha dug’s throot. "For the love of God," cryed Murphy. "The man is definitly insane." He pulld tha dug by it’s hindlegs an dragged it acrost tha floor. Tha dug, it’s eyes red with feer, pushed it’s arsebottum agenst tha throorug in tha middle uv tha reum, an expelled a snoutful uv baconrindair.
An tha goreholes an tha stoones shuttight his eyes frum seeing past his own nose beyawnd this an that an hav cawse for concern wen tha moarning lite flushes tha ski an azyour bloo. An she had a tendence to put needulls in her rms. In the crook uv her lbo just below tha bicept whair tha skin an tissu is tessellated an chikenscratchd with trakmarks; whair tha bloodeed scimshaw an brewsing damages tha integrete uv tha rm itself. What mure can one say? An tha tat-tat-tat; tha crowcalls an tha medo in fullbloom on a laze Saturday afternewn. An Apaleena wild an feral laynaboout on tha sende shyourline with a barrowfull uv apples and cuntful uv plums. Scritch-scratch; tha eenie little sqwerl berying nuts in tha softmudde grund. Murphy an Mulli gain upan aboout on a sunbleecht morning on a winde wetherd day. Young Werther: gunshout woound ta tha hede. Picasso: paynting brush up tha bifirkashun. What mure can one say? Eye am tha living proof uv it all; eye’m tha rejoinder an tha grammeruv itall. Noonevr anuther like tha lest one. That one came too damnd close ta finishing us alloff: had me by tha nek, a garritting and a twisting an tha thums pressed like knots ita meye throoat.
Her mowth lookd like it had been torn inta her face; a rent, a pulpe redmass uv tissu and teeth correcting tha ovarbite uv her jaw. Lips brewzed an scard; no reum for a passhunate kiss; a tongu set cruked in tha dorm uv her mouth, tha rezult uv a violent union uv bone an teeth that had left her disfigyourd an hungre. A crewd manner uv things this fractyourd youth decries. A poor an lonele lifestile that nevr quite manages ta be a life atall. An tha oringe fitcaps an tha rubberhose that mends togethar tha last oppertoonite ta get evrthing rite as rain. Thair is no compromize: its all or nothing. Thair is no sommer rain: its all or evrething. Adinfinitum. For tha luv uv God, no nevr agen; nevr.
Humbert’s wife an chilldren wair killd in a fier that levelld tha hoouse and burnt until tha ski ternd blak. His wife tryd ta gather up tha chilldren an wrap them in a blankit, but tha smooke an flames wair too powerful an tha three uv them wair burnt beyoond rekognishun. Humbert blamed himself for thair deaths, an nevar quite rekoverd frum it; he wuz a skellitell reminder that God oftin looses trak uv those he luvs. Five yeers had passd, an Humbert wuz stil consumed with greef. He took to tha bottle like a drownding man; he drank until tha pain wuz managable; he drank to forget an to remembr that he had no control ovar that past, and nothing to look forwerd ta in tha future. Humbert left tha villedge he wuz born in, an set out for tha mountins that scuplpted tha forest abuv tha skiline. In tha wintr, humbert livd in tha moouth uv a cave whair he had fashund a tarplolin with lengths uv greenwood an securd tha leeside with cedarbows. He trapt what little food he reqwired, an ate berreers an variade mushreums that gruw in abundence on tha darkwet forest floor. Wen he had okashun to, he would kill a wild pig an slawter it with a makeshift knife that he had constructed outuv slate an bone.
He mayor maynot be awere that this is tha lest chence he’ll evr have for cumming to sum cunclushun aboout whatevr it is he happins ta be involvd in at tha momint: this time an in this order uv things so randum an fleeting. An a rashun uv hope in a hopeless werld. An Humbert at peece with himself; beeing awere that tha next time could be tha vere last. Tha next remembr that may spell tha last memoree uv itall. Pigsnout an hedecheeze an tha werm treckle duwn yer throoat tha seems ta cleer awey tha rasping an strep. An ewe move in tha shadoos uv tha nite, hunting for apray tha eludes it’s predature. An ewe give it one lest chance befour tha air thikens an yer lungs swell up like a corpse blooated with sowerdeath. An for tha Lord Allmitee, this has ta be tha lest of it; thairs nomure time left ta get tha cipher rite; nomure reum fer anuthar misstake. Thair is no othar chance; no othar weyout.
Humbert constructd a dam across tha mouth uv tha river with straw an fallen trees an raspberrethorns an sutured it alltogethar with mud an clay. He drew his watr frum tha resevoir that built up naturalle behind tha dam. Tha watr wuz cool an cleer an Humbert weighed his steps carefulle wen crossing tha shorestep aroound tha dam. He had once fallen beeside tha resevoir an lay faceduwn in tha mud that curried tha groound whair a bruwnrabbit took to drink. On okashun Humbert wood take a bath in tha resevoir, rubbing his bode raw with sand an lindinbows; scraping cleen his face with his knife an stiking twigs inta tha conch uv his ears ta cleen outthe wax. Tha grait stand uv cedars and pine, uv basswood an birch; tha larch and tha hardwoods like maple an oak that canopeed tha forest an keptin tha cool morning air trapt beneeth it’s foliage. Nowair is thair anewair wair ewe can simple fall outuv tha werld an land sumwair othr tha wair ewe r.
Tha werld is a radum series uv reoccuring events. Tha werld is all percepshun an imagining. Tha werld, as we know it, is a simple proposishun that belays tha fundamentells uv hier mathamatics. Thair is no logical truth: evrthing is conjecture; nothing is real. Our percepshun uv tha werld is what we extend inta infinit space. Thair r no questyouns, onle halftruths. Humbert lives in a werld bereft uv simbolick realite. He is a simple extenshun uv a possibilite that may or may not be undarstood in spaceshall or temporal terms. Wittgenstein wood be proud. Russell wood be his ewesual petulant self. Alfred North Whitehead wood, no doubt, see Wittgenstein’s proposishuns as rot and Russells analytik posturing as mathamatically unsound. Ryle wood dispell tha noshun uv tha ‘ghost in tha machine’, and Strawson wood, without reservashuns, talk aboout tha possibilite uv a purele auditore metafisical universe.
Incrypted in tha toom uv tha bode; life’s lest rale agenst death. Tha sik an befould; tha destitoot an tha irrashunal Wenevr thair rizes a threat in tha moorning ski, thair will appeer a portend that will cleense awey tha mukansewer uv this werld. A talisman, uvsorts; a new beginning. Tha olid stench uv rotting carryon; tha stark remindr that life, itself, is limited ta one anuthar breath: nothing as curius as a startld look or a johndace smile on a sorroridden face. Joyce: wombfruit. Molly Bloom. Talmud an Bible: tha blind leeding tha blind. Religun fer tha masses; inta this sic soul a breath uv life; inta this twisted mind a prattle uv thout. Ad infinitum. (Bak flattened agenst metal tabull; stem uv tha needull sharp in tha rm; a cathitor that burns an pisses; noman’s land.) Pleese Father, mi soul ta take; deliver us frum eville, for Thine is tha Kingdum, forevr an evr. Amen.
Apaleena nevr had ane parents. She wuz an orfin frum tha start; a bundle uv waxcloth an tenshun; her tinee bode curld up inta a clove; her smal blooeyes brite an seerching. Those who had been her parints, the muther that conceeved her and tha fathur that conceeved with her muther, had left her on tha footstep uv a cottege in tha sprucewoods that ran across frum tha rill an up along tha sande rivur bank that separated tha pastyourland frum tha trees. She remembrs a small dog with a chayn aroound it’s nek pulling at tha corner uv her blanket, its yello teeth white with slaver, it’s eyes blak as nite an crossed inta tha mass uv it’s hede. She remembrs two bodes, a man and a womuns; tha man picking her up an cradling her in the basket uv his strong rms. She can think bak ta tha smell uv tha man an womun, tha oder uv glands an sweat glistening undar thair rmpits; tha camafore an cinamun, tha sweetness uv flowrs an tha hardstench uv bodes aftir werk. Apaleena, tho an orfin, had a man and a womun that took her in as thair own; thay fed her frum a goats teat an rubbed smooth oils and powdrs inta her skin. Thay stayed by her wen she cryd at nite an comfurted her wen tha thundar an wind pounded up agenst tha sides uv tha cottige like angre ghosts cum to reclaim what wuz ritefulle thairs. She had lived with this cupal until she wuz fifteen, than moved on in seerch uv her birth parints, an tha reesuns why they had left her on that footstep that dey fifteen yeers ago. She wuz drivin by an obsession that forced her ta continu her seerch long aftar tha scent had faded. In an along this and then, Apaleena felt tha urge ta travel, an in doing so, to see whatever she could uv tha werld. She went in seerch uv answers, not sure uv what she’d find; not certain that she wanted what she’d find, and unsure if thair actuale wuz anething out thair; a part uv her, a peece uv tha puzzle that had becum her life. It wuz eight yeers later, after crossing tha bredth an depth uv a werld she had onle red about in books, that she settled in ta tha cottige in tha forest with Mulli gain and Murphy an a blak an brouwn dog with a ropecoil tail an an appetite for bacunrind an sausage fat.
Apaleena had takn a vow uv uncleensliness an stopped warshing her hair when she wuz 23 years old. It curld an raked aroound tha crown uv her hede; it whorled an crenolated, like crumpld paper; it stuk outat angles to her forehede an tangled beneeth her collarbone; her hair wuz a thing initself; a separate entite, uv sorts. Apaleena’s furst menstrashun wuz hard an unyeelding; clots uv blood formed on tha fine hairs of her thighs, her vagina lips felt bitten an stung; and thair wuz a bitter, acrid taste in her mouth, like metal. ( I saw Lolita on tha bus agen todey. Her rms wair cleen uv tracmarks an tha brewsing that generalle appeerd on tha crook uv her elbo an rm had faded ta a soft bloo. She nevr once looked in mi direcshun; her eyes wair fixd on tha bak uv tha hede uv tha purson in front uv her, who had on a crepepaper hat, resting agents what looked like an ear shorn frum its pulpit. I haven’t thout much aboout her in tha last little while, mi mind has been on othr things: on Humbert and Apaleena; Mulli gain and Murphy; on tha lack uv perspakuite that seems ta foster tha images in mi thouts.) Apaleena felt tha chill uv womanhood when she wuz 12 years-old. The woman and tha man that had taken her in as thair own, ministerd to her needs an supplied her with what little support they wair able to marshal between themselves. The woman, upon discuvering that Apaleena had started her period, warshed her skirt an underclothes in vinager an hung them in tha bakshed whair she an the man kept thair chikens an a three-legged dog with pitchblak eyes an a trunkated blak tail that seemed ta be in constant activite.
Mulli gain movd towerds tha windo and opind tha latch; a swell uv werm afternoon air cut across tha reum an up agenst tha wall by tha shavinmirrer an out tha othur windo behind tha sink an toylet. Evereone but Milli gain, who wuz busee looking out tha windo, wair looking ovar abuv thair hedes at a line uv ants that had werked thair wey up along tha wall an onto tha ceeling. One uv tha ants cut ta tha left uv tha line an wuz werking it’s wey doown tha wall by tha sink. "They must certainly be army ants," sayd Murphy. "Why army ants?" askd Apaleena. "Because their walking in a straight line, one after the other." Mulli gain, having rotated his bode aroound ta face tha othars, sayd, "How tha hell do you know that their army ants?" Murphy rubbed tha callus uv his hand across his face, and smyled. "I just know. That’s all." Apaleena, feeling tha need ta make sense uv it all, added, "They’re fighting ants, you can tell from the way they all line up in a row and march along one behind the other." Humbert let out a snort uv air an smyled. He ran his thum along tha ridge uv his lower lip, whair a string uv spittle had attachd itself to tha whiskers on his chin, an rose slowle frum his chair. "Those, ladies and gentlemen, are worker ants, not army ants." "What’s tha difference," inquird Murphy. Humbert gestikulated with his right hand, tha clew uv his fingers twisted with reumatizm, an sayd, "Worker ants follow each other in a straight line, the variance of which never reconfigures, unless there is a atmospheric change which requires of the ants that they swing to one side-be that the left or the right, from front to back-and, in doing so, reacclimatize themselves to the change in atmospheric pressure." Humbert pawsed ta collect his breath, an continud. "I suggest that you all, and you too mister," he sayd, poynting directle at Mulli gain, "get your collective acts together and fix something for dinner." "But what about the army ants?" askd Murphy. "The army ant," Humbert sayd, "parades in a four-deep line, the last ant making sure that they don’t get attack from the flank, and the two ants at the front, checking the terrain for spider’s webs and snake holes, and, by this manner, they march from one local to another relatively free of physical conflict and environmental disturbances." "Oh, I see now," sayd Apaleena. "They’re different in that they are the same except that you know the difference and we don’t." "Correct," roard Humbert. "Now get to work and cook us some dinner." "
"Maybe the dogs got ants," sayd Mulli gain smugle. "I wonder," Murphy sayd, "if ants have skin…" "Or fur." interuptd Apaleena. "No not never fur," replyd Murphy. "We’re talking about insects here." "Whats the difference between an army ant and a worker ant?" inquird Apaleena. "They’re both ants-from the ants family, I suppose." Sayd Murphy. "How in heaven would a dog get ants?" askd Apaleena. "Maybe they crawl up their tails and into their arse." Offerd Murphy. "I guess that could, in deed, happen." Sayd Apaleena. "Very often I wonder whether or not if I had a dog, much like your dog, if it would have worms, too." "Maybe all dogs have worms at sometime or the other in their lives." Sayd Murphy. Mulli gain took two long strides frum tha windo an stopped in frunt uv Murphy. "That’s it-all fucking dog-talk has got to stop." Here Mulli gain slapt his grate boot agenst tha floorbooard. "Absolutely none. Understand?" At this Murphy cowerd an moved ovar to tha chair beside his bed, wair he fiddled with a pakage uv matches an finalle, aftar several attempts, managed ta lite a cigarette.
I had tha dreem agen lest nite. She’s pulling at me trying ta get me inta tha reum with her; I fight bak an manage ta run inta tha kitchen wair I fall ta tha hard linoleum floor an my hede begins ta spin an I feel like vomiting because I have drank too much an am experiancing nawsea but tha fact remains that she’s also drunk an wants me ta make luv ta here regardless uv how I feel aboout her or tha idea uv having sex with my mothar. I then find miself in a crowded bar with an old highskool friend who is lounging on tha sofa that surroounds a short-legged table, than in cums a luver frum my past who drew orgasims outa me that made mi stomak muscles spasm an my legs cramp an burn with pleasure. Orelsex kept me frum moving too far awey frum tha nest; it consumd me and became a necisary part uv mi sexeual needs: I fell victum ta its muse.
Helluv atime we had wen we tried ta put it ta him; he cursed an hollerd like a wild animel; he bled frum tha belle an thair wuz a look in his eyes that seemd ta see right past us inta tha field beyond an behind us whair thair wuz a womin milking a cow with her teeth an her child, in swaddling cloth, laying aside her an she spat tha milk frum her mouth inta tha child’s mouth that made a suckling noise an it’s tinee nose seemd ta curlup with pleesure. She askd me ta frunt her fifty dollars sew that she could purchase an eightball an put a stop ta tha aching in her belle. An thain an thair I knew, for certain, that thair wuz no possible wey I could say no ta her; she wuz mi muse and eye needed her mure than eye wuz willing ta admit. I oftin thout uv her aftar we parted; I rememberd tha starch uv her hair aftar a shower an tha wey she carryed herself wen she wanted ta look important an serius. I rememberd tha coldbloo stones uv her eyes and the wey she cooed wenevr I stroked her hair. I remember a lot uv things that seem importint now but didn’t wen they wair part uv mi life. An they sewd shut tha goreholes uv his eyes an peeld tha skin offuv his nose an hammerd nails inta his feet. Humbert wurryed aboout what wood happen if he wuz recognized bi sumone an they wentoff an called on tha constabulare. He knew that as long as he stayed with Mulli gain an Murphy, hidden far awey frum tha curius eyes uv tha villagars, he wood be in no danger uv beeing found out. He had plans for Apaleena; patterns that wood soon emerge wen tha nites got colder an tha days shorter. He had a plan for all three uv them, including tha dog.
Tha closure uv nite; tha sweet opiate uv desire drawn inta tha milk uv human kindness whair it is spild on tha floor uv this eerth like so much watr frum tha troff. Yer barking up tha wreng tree; tha fuckers gut werms uv serts that’ll be tha deeth uv it wen it’s tyme cums; whitch it will, by God-jest mark mi werds, it well. An that fucker Mulli gain an that idiut Murphy, between tha two uv ‘em thairs but onebrain, an it nevr seems ta be werking up ta task. Apaleena: now thairs a prize if eye’ve evr seen tha like uv one. A wemun with a geed dose uv tranquillite an a barralful uv pride. Fuck tha lot uv ‘em! Fucking ungraitful basterds. An me putting down fer postairite tha stery uv thair live’s without once batting an eye ovar it. Sunsuvabitches woodn’t rekognize a fucking genius even if he wair rite thafuck up thair arseholes an senging a lollebuy. No not nevr.
"Well that goes to figure," sad Murphy. "You always seem to think you have the right answer. With you its not this or that, but that and this. Its beginning to bother me some; I’ve got opinions, too." "No you don’t," chimnd Mulli gain. "You’ve never had a goddam opinion in your entire fucking life." Mulli gain pawsed, collectd his thouts an contiud. "And furthermore, who in the name of Christ almighty are you to tell me that I have a problem? How can an idiot tell the difference between a problem and a hypothesis? Answer me that, if you can." Apaleena shook her hede an began to whistle; a nasal cacaphone that seemd ta reech frum sumwhair deep in her throoat. "Stop that fucking whistling," growld Mulli gain. "Why does she have to stop?" askd Murphy. "Because I said so," answerd Mulli gain. "You’re not the boss here, you know. There is no boss, no one in charge of this whole damn mess." "What mess?" askd Mulli gain. "I don’t see any mess here." Murphy swollowd deliburatele an clenchd his fists until tha knukles turnd white and chalke. "It was you that said we had to get rid of the dog." "That’s correct," relyd Mulli gain. "It certainly was me." "Well the dog then…" "You mean your dog," Mulli gain interuptd. "My dog, then," sayd Murphy. "Its leaving shit stains all over the house. Wouldn’t you call that a mess?" Mulli gain smyled an tiltd his hede ta one side, "Its only a mess if its my mess, which it isn’t." Humbert, who had been sitting behind Mulli gain an Murphy watching tha whole oredeel, cleerd his throoat an sterted ta bark like a hound. He yelpd an a line uv spit spun a web frum his moouth an attachd itself ta tha coller uv his shert that garrited tha loose flesh aroound his nek an left him looking like he could loose conshusness at ane minite.