António de Oliveira Público

(She spent her honeymoon at Nolan Falls backcombing lice out of her hair). The legless man punted across the sideways, picking up speed when he hit the curbside. He thwacked the pavement like a falling star, his pushcart splitting in half. Sitting on the stumps of his legs he took in the damage, the sky laughing like a well-fed hyena. The father of dimestore philosophy, Georgiou Mead, was born in South Hadley Massachusetts on February 27. Rudolf Steiner, renowned anthroposophists and cultural bon vivant, was born to an unwed scullery maid in Croatia, his da hightailing it upon discovering that he had no patience for wailing babies and weeping maids. Skittering his spit across the blacktop the legless man wondered why men like Mead and Steiner got away like bandits, while he struggled like a weakly child, his life a commerce of pain and aching. The inquisitor António de Oliveira Público lived next to the Vincennes Glove and Scarf Company in an opulent 27 bedroom manor-house with three swimming pools and as many two-car garages. He swore that he would never buy anything from his neighbors the Vincennes, claiming they sold second-rate gloves and cheap scarves that unspooled when the temperature fell below 27% Celsius. Lela’s grandmamma paid António de Oliveira Público a weekly visit, bringing him a basketful of fresh yams and a day-old pan of peach cobbler. After they finished eating the yams and scrapped clean the bottom of the cobbler pan, for they both partook in eating, Lela’s grandmamma would pull down her skirts, revealing an off-white pair of knickers, and allow António de Oliveira Público to sup on her Mons Viand, her stockings unspooled to her ankles.