Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The Lattelekoms of Ogre Ogres Latvia

The Muenster family of Nordrhein-Westfalen made horsehair hatbands. The Muenster family were the only family to make horsehair hatbands that wasn’t related to the Heidegger family of Rheinland-Pfalz Trier Trier-Saarburg. The Lattelekom family of Ogre Ogres Latvia made livery halters. The Lattelekom family of Ogre Ogres Latvia sold livery halters to the Muenster family who in turn sold the Lattelekom family horsehair hatbands. Both the Muenster’s of Nordrhein-Westfalen and the Lattelekom’s of Ogre Ogres bought 5.5qt Oval Crockery Slow Cookers from the Marcum tool and dye company, neither family aware that they shared a dislike for skillets and bean pots.

When he was a boy, a wee boy, the legless man pined for two good sturdy legs. He pined for two shoes and two socks, two feet, good and sturdy feet, each with 10 toes, he pined for winter boots and galoshes, soft-soled slippers and hard-soled Oxford’s, he pined for slip-ons and loafers, he pined for leather shoes and canvas shoes, he pine for athletic shoes and going-out-for-dinner shoes, he pined for shoes with tassels and shoes with two eyelets, wingtip shoes and clogs, he pined for bowling shoes and cycling shoes, for hiking boots and Pointe shoes, he pined for snowshoes and après-ski boots, he pined for Pyrenees’ Espadrilles, Poulaines and Crackowes, he pined for Cordwainer's specially made shoes, Papal shoes and King James the 2nd shoes, he pined and pined but never once did he find shoes that fit snuggly on the stumps of his hips.

Author’s note: what nonsense, what banal nonsense! Crock pots and slow cookers, cast-iron skillets and double-boilers, Bonus Little Dippers and horsehair hatbands, livery halters and slip-on loafers, what utter banal nonsense!

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