for ALAN

For Alan

My friend’s polar oppositions
Thieved him
Of an equitable life

Imprisoned in the cage
That was his mind

Between heightened mania
And an acute depression
The likes of which

Neither you, nor I
Will need ever experience

He fought the roue’
With a fearlessness unimaginable
Even to a poet

Or a blackguard, or a man
Of one mind

For Alan (two)

There was a doll’s head spiff with needles, he said, from too much LSD or chemicals, or because I was reading too much Das Capital, they said, Marx would do that to a brain, tarn it to rued butter thick with nonsense, or worse, other men’s thoughts and ideas, they said

The voices were never soft, or willing to let me sit quiet in the tally of my thoughts, they were like thieves, men with sticks and stones chasing the mice from the scatter of my thoughts, he said

Your chemistry set is busted, neurons firing at will and with little regard for your wellbeing, it’ll only get worse, they said, and you’ll need constant supervision and a vaccine, which seldom works

I believe in God and human goodness and love, he said, even when the voices caudal my skull, but even then, he said, I’m still lucky enough to know my name, and where I live, and the taste of wild strawberries and sun