Sunday, February 06, 2011

Botulf Botulfsson

Hold her head so she doesn’t fall four words: Bi i dho husht. Easier when she’s clamping. Always on the bend performing the Noble Provision. Lay a fiver she’ll get a mouthful. Like spoiled cream. Bite down hard; like shredding kip sausage. Jaw gets all stiff and mangled, barely open it a peep. Should have known better. All mangled. Turn him off for good. Poses a problem with sitting. Have to crap standing. Comes out in pips. Mangled from the inside out. Easier when she’s ajar. Slows down the provision. Ladle the boil. Good for the simmer.

He lay abed until his neck ached, his head full of hornets. Rising, slowly, his feet scarcely touching the dirt floor, he assembled his things, three pairs of socks, a scarf, his favourite boater, a reissue of Popular Mechanics, the June 27th issue with an article on Rolfing, and nimbly wade his way out into the glowing sunlit afternoon. He had a meeting with Dejesus to discuss the likelihood of the sky falling Thursday next; the last time before the next full moon. The last time the sky fell before the full moon the Semiheretics put on a knees-up on the front steps of the church, a thousand or more semi and full heretics taking over the grounds of the sacristy. Ramihrdus of Cambrai, Peter of Bruys, Gherardino Segarelli, Marguerite Porete, Botulf Botulfsson, Antonio Bevilacqua, William Sawtrey, John Badby, Jan Hus, Jeroným Pražský, Thomas Bagley, Pavel Kravař, Girolamo Savonarola, Jean Vallière, Johannes Pistorius Woerdensis, Wendelmoet Claesdochter, Michael Sattler, Patrick Hamilton, Balthasar Hubmaier, Jörg vom Haus Jacob, Richard Bayfield, James Bainham, William Tyndale, Anneke Esaiasdochter, Maria van Beckum, Patrick Pakenham, Hugh Latimer, Nicholas Ridley, Thomas Cranmer, Dirk Willems, Diego López, Kimpa Vita, Maria Barbara Carillo and Saint Joan of Arc in attendance either in person or by proxy.

Stephen Breen kept the docket listing all the full and semi heretics in attendance that day; itemizing each according to means of torture and execution: full heretics: lead sprinkler, hanging, flaying, burning at the stake, boiling, flaying then boiling, hanging and flaying, flaying, boiling and hanging and set ablaze inside a Brazen Bull with a stopcock to release the built-up steam; semi heretics: crocodile shears, reserved for regicides, the Spanish Tickler, flagellation, sawing, Judas Cradle, the Pear of Anguish, foot roasting, the Heretics Fork, knee splitting, pillory, toe wedging and branking.

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"Poetry is the short-circuiting of meaning between words, the impetuous regeneration of primordial myth". Bruno Schulz

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