Hôtel Gropecuntelane

Sitting on a half-buttock the alewife counts the night’s take: 27 coppers, 3 nickels and a ½ ££ torn in half just below the Queen’s chin. Above the door over the transom is a banner that reads ‘Efflagitasti cotidiano convicio ut libros quos ad meum Marcellum, available at your better Hypermarkets and Apothecary Agents’. The Offaly Bros of Tulach Mhór own the De Herrera Tesco, the top Hypergrocers in all of Queen’s Chin Mhór. ‘stop checking for cracks… the casements’re fine’ grumbled the publican, ‘just fine’. While he grumbled the alewife gathered and stacked the chairs, an Egyptian hurdle piled three hands high doddering in the centre of the alehouse floor. Juan Aránzuru, publican, his odium exacerbated by the alewife’s monkeyshines, throws his apron into the corner next to the empties. Grousing, his hands balled into fists, Juan Aránzuru disappears behind the bar, James Giltrap, determined to buy another round, counting the loose change in his pant’s pocket. Over the bar the menu read:

-Menu-

Le Pate Leopold
Les Quenelles De Veau Toulouse
Le Poulet De Bresse ‘Roti
Les Pommes Nouvelles Au Beurre
La Salade De Laitue Mimosa
Les Fromages Varies

Vin Blanc, Vin Rose, Vin Rouge
Passe-Tout-Grain De Nuits
Moulin A Vent
Café Filtre
Liqueurs

Giltrap was in the mood for lamb chops with green mint jelly, followed with Pâté de Jardin and an oniony pale ale. Garryowen lives at 35 North Great George’s Street in a bedsit across from La Hôtel Gropecuntelane.