Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Crabber and Duckworth

The man in the hat awoke, eyes weary with sleep. Today was the day he was to meet the biggest dogman behind the aqueduct, neither man having laid eyes on the other except in passing, one such passing in Potters Bar November past. The florist Beeves, who made such beautiful nosegays, Goats-rue and Hawthorn, Cinquefoil and Persian Candy-tuft, Toad-flax and Teasel, knew how to repot a withering Bugloss, but couldn’t master simple arithmetic and grammar school calculus. Crabber and Duckworth, who threw the biggest crab eat in the history of history, had troubles with into’s and minuses, but were fierce opponents at bowl the thrush or complex fractions. The meeting between the man in the hat and the biggest dogman was to take place at 25½ minutes past eleven. Both men had prior engagements, the man in the hat with the florist Beeves, the biggest dogman with Crabber and Duckworth, so any time earlier was out of the question.

The man in the hat was meeting with the florist Beeves to inquire about a Quair-stemmed Begonia nosegay he was interested in buying for the harridan, the biggest dogman with Crabber and Duckworth to insist they cater a Dogman’s Luncheon to be held the day after Ships Day. Neither man knew that he other had a prior engagement, had they, the day might have turned out differently. Crabber and Duckworth were fierce adversaries of the florist Beeves, so had either party got wind that the other was in town on business, the day might have end with bloodied noses and hanging jawbones. Beeves’ begat little Beeves who begat littler Beeves who begat littlest Beeves and so on. Crabber and Duckworth begat Duckworth and Crabber who begat Duckcrabber who begat Crabberworth. The man in the hat had little patience for begetting, so those who begat were roughly rebuked then quickly forgotten.

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"Poetry is the short-circuiting of meaning between words, the impetuous regeneration of primordial myth". Bruno Schulz
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