Monday, May 12, 2008

Calculus Coprophagia

I have started taking a new reuptake inhibitor as the other reuptake inhibitor seems to have become less in·hib·i·tive. The old uptake inhibitor has lost its in·hib·it·a·bleness, meaning it does a poor job in·hib·it·ing, and believe you me I need all the in·hib·it·ing I can get. Fifteen years ago this coming September I was diagnosed with OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or as I so ineloquently refer to it, Turing's Disease, after the inventor of the first calculator, (Alan Mathison Turing, the most famous member of GC&CS, Alan Turing joined Bletchley Park in 1939. He invented the basis of cryptanalytic mathematics and special-purpose analytic machines, making major contributions to the exploitation of Enigma and other German cipher systems. Turing also played a key role in developing Colossus, the world's first programmable computer. After the war, working at Manchester University, he and Max Newman led a team that produced Britain's first general purpose stored programme computer). Being a counter, one 2 three 4 I have good reason to side-by-side with the imminent Mr. Turing. Shit is (as shit is shit, after all) it took me two long hard years to pass grade 10 math, so this counting shit is, well shitty.

Here is a short abridged list of names, or synonyms for OCD: Vectors Disease, Algebraic Savantism, Into’s and Out-of’s Imbecility, Calculus Coprophagia, Turing’s Tourette's, named after the great Swiss neurologist Georges Albert Édouard Brutus Gilles de la Tourette, Johann Carl Friedrich Gauss Geometric Aphasia, Les Haricot Noir de la Mathématique, Newton’s Doxological Nostalgias, Popper’s Potpourri, Goldbach's Conjectur, Integers Interruptus, Compulsive Metron Trigonometry, Precalculus Phobia, Function’s Fuckuppedness, Differential Deviance Disease, Indiscrete Mathematica Moronicism and Disambiguation Chaos Theory, commonly referred to as Deterministic Indeterminacy Disease. Now you should have a good idea, an inkling perhaps, of what I must contend with day in and day out. Good night and over and out,
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"Poetry is the short-circuiting of meaning between words, the impetuous regeneration of primordial myth". Bruno Schulz
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