Mister Vallencourt

On account of I don’t listen too well my grandmamma speaks to me in a loud irritating voice. She says it’s for my own good but I suspect it’s on account she has a loud voice. I’m pretty much used to being yelled at so when I stop to think about it, which I do from time to time, I doesn’t matter much whether she speaks at me with a whisper or a loud voice, it’s pretty much the same. My granddad, now he’s a different story, he’s got one of those low scratchy voices what’re hard to hear, and even if you did it’d probably be all mumbly and monotone. My grandmamma says it’s on account that he smokes non-filter tip cigarettes, Export A’s and John Player’s, but I figure he does it so as not to draw attention to himself and have my grandmamma all over him about the grass and the dog, even if it’s me that takes care of him most of the time. Some people, grandparents mostly, can be irritating, all that mumbling and heavy smoking, makes you want to jump out a window sometimes, most of the time really. I tried it once, jumping out the window that is, and fell on my noggin, busted up my ear and knocked a tooth out. My French teacher mister Vallencourt uses the word defenestration for jumping out the window; he says it’s more proper and sounds better when you say it that way, in French that is. I can’t be bothered on account of I find French not worth the bother of learning, most things, actually, but mostly French and gymnastics. I busted out another tooth on the pommel-horse once, bled like a fucker and had to have stitches in my upper lip and on my chin area. My grandmamma said it was because I didn’t listen well. I figure it was because there weren’t none of that chalk left when it was my turn. I guess my hands were too slippery or something. Anyhow it hurt like a fucker.