Chinese Fans and Newsboys’ Cap

Roland Simms (no relation to Burt Simms) wore his eyeglasses perched on the now-hard part of his once-soft skull. His fontanel took such a long time to harden his ma thought he might forever have a mushy spot where a hard solid spot should be. As with all things solid and soft Roland Simms’ skull hardened closed, what was once soft and mushy became solid and in·ure. His ma’s fears went with the weekly news: into a blue-box marked with a newsboys’ cap and a wink of the eye. ‘It’s a Capital crime’ thought the man in the hat, ‘all this softness and babies’ heads gone awry.’ A corn-crackle crooked across the morning sky, wings folding and unfolding like Chinese fans. (According to the news report a heated debate between two lesbians over whether to eat Chinese-takeout or roasted chicken ended with the dysphonic lesbian being stabbed in the neck by the womanly lesbian. The womanly lesbian claimed she did not mean to stab her dysphonic lover in the neck, but in the abdomen. Both woman were taken to the hospital and submitted to a lengthy forensic examination, the dysphonic lesbian asking for a referral to a sexual-reassignment clinic, her lesbian lover asking for a café latte with extra latte on top)[1]

[1] Excerpted from the Shag and Lately Weekly News, Vernon Spanaway, Firth of Frith.