The more he wanted things the less he received. This, he came to accept, was his lot in life. Forest Cracknel and Halden Bracknell met behind the Society for Comparative Meteorology to discuss their shared dislike for Ostfold Sloterdijk, Doktorgrad. ‘fuck him’ said Cracknel, ‘he’s nothing but a two-bit weatherman’. Both men turned about face facing the back of one another; Bracknell staring at the back of Cracknel’s head, Cracknel staring at a tear in Bracknell’s jacket. ‘the world looks better from the back’ said Cracknel, ‘gets rid of that gray feeling’. Over the doorstop to the Huixquilucan café was a sign, and on the sign was whittled,
sin
I beget
thee amerces
in corpus
diem
Cracknel and Bracknell stepped into the café, neither giving a second thought to the admonition carved into the doorstop above their heads. ‘the world looks better from here’ said Bracknell elbowing his way up to the bar. ‘comparatively’ said Cracknel. The one and only time the man in the hat visited the Huixquilucan café he was beaten hopeless by two grifters with bull mastiff jaws and black eyes. Ostfold Sloterdijk, Doktorgrad, sold Jesus pins to the heathenry that congregated at the back of the café, 2 for a dollar, three for a dollar-fifty. The brothers Wimm sold Maryland cigarettes by the box, 3 for 1 or 1 for 3. One could purchase almost anything at the Huixquilucan café; smuggled cigarettes, 100 proof Whiskey, bracelets made from gold and silver, Proustian corkboard , 25 cents a foot, 10 feet for a dollar, Black Sea muscles, Red Sea clams, salted pretzels, full-wheat or half-wheat, old books, slingshots and peashooters, stilted or coat-hankered, gumshoed boots, sizes 7-11, discarded surgical instruments, clamps, speculums, forceps and stainless steel scalpels, things one couldn’t find at the local grocer’s or the Waymart.
sin
I beget
thee amerces
in corpus
diem
Cracknel and Bracknell stepped into the café, neither giving a second thought to the admonition carved into the doorstop above their heads. ‘the world looks better from here’ said Bracknell elbowing his way up to the bar. ‘comparatively’ said Cracknel. The one and only time the man in the hat visited the Huixquilucan café he was beaten hopeless by two grifters with bull mastiff jaws and black eyes. Ostfold Sloterdijk, Doktorgrad, sold Jesus pins to the heathenry that congregated at the back of the café, 2 for a dollar, three for a dollar-fifty. The brothers Wimm sold Maryland cigarettes by the box, 3 for 1 or 1 for 3. One could purchase almost anything at the Huixquilucan café; smuggled cigarettes, 100 proof Whiskey, bracelets made from gold and silver, Proustian corkboard , 25 cents a foot, 10 feet for a dollar, Black Sea muscles, Red Sea clams, salted pretzels, full-wheat or half-wheat, old books, slingshots and peashooters, stilted or coat-hankered, gumshoed boots, sizes 7-11, discarded surgical instruments, clamps, speculums, forceps and stainless steel scalpels, things one couldn’t find at the local grocer’s or the Waymart.
1 comment:
I'm still laughing...there's a veritable gaggle of giggles in this posting. Something got to your funny-bone??
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