The Village of Ouse

Norberto Emilia Romagna hawks frères stone signet rings from his booth at the church bazaar, $27½ each or $42 for two. His twin sister Cervia polishes and shines the tin boxes the rings come in. Their mamma, Empanada Del Amore, having changed her name from Emilia Romagna to Del Amore in 1972, works as a seamstress for the Bejel Linen Co., a job she has had for the past 12½ months. When she was a little girl, a farthing child, her mamma sold her to the Misled Bros., Aurum and Arum, the brothers putting her to work in their curbside bordello. Aurum and Arum, the Misled Bros., are known far and wide for their rotting teeth and far fetched notions; one of which was to sell bruised fruit from the sled of a hop-cart at the corner of 7th Ave. and Petteril. The Misled Bros. (Aurum and Arum) grew up in Penruddock, a stone’s throw from the River Eden, not far from Black Fell, known for its lovely view of nowhere, around the bend from Mallerstang, which abuts Aisgill and the hamlets of Hugh Seat and Black Fell Moss, which abut the villages of Wild Boar Fell and Faxfleet, through which the River Swale runs emptying into the River Ure, which is not far from the village of Ouse, known for its seaside view of the ocean, which empties into the Wensleydale River, home to the Faxfleet Preceptory, by way of Way Kirk in the canon of Yetholm where the Solway Firth empties into the blue sky. Their mamma, Empanada Del Amore, fell in love with and wed a butcher, a Basque Quaker, who was seldom seen without a bloodied apron tied round his waist.